Drunk Calling...

Ever had too much to drink and then call all your friends or family and let them know? Sometimes it's quite funny, other times, not so much.

This weekend I made a couple of those calls - one call was around 3 pm (hey it was 5 O'clock somewhere) from a place in Morro Bay, CA that has a small aquarium and some sea lions (rescues) that you can feed. They are quite funny to watch as they bark and wave and slap their sides for a piece of fish. What's even funnier to watch are 6 drunks trying to feed them.

Admission for 6 adults: $12
Sea Lion Food: $6
Half a dozen drunks amusing the sea lions: PRICELESS

So - KA - why didn't I get a drunk call from you? I hope you had "other things" to do!

JL, LL, RK, JK & JD - We may be growing older, but we certainly aren't growing up! Thanks for a fun weekend - I needed that!

Grateful

I am grateful to my John for becoming an instant daddy over 20 years ago and for putting up with all the craziness that the kids and I have brought into his life and for loving us through it all and for marrying me 20 years ago and never regretting it (or at least for not admitting it!)

This is for KA - I'm thinking of you and your sister and sending good thoughts that the biopsy comes back with good news. I'm grateful you are my friend.

This is for my son... Stay safe baby boy and know that there is a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of you. I'm grateful you are mine.

This is for my daughter who is working hard and finally getting the chance to spread her legal wings - I am so proud of you. I'm grateful that you are mine.

This is for GV because he checks this blog everyday and now there is something to read! I'm grateful for our friendship.

I'm grateful that my children picked such wonderful spouses that are a real part of our family -- we truly have gained another son and daughter.

This is for my mother-in-law who I've called "Mom" for the past 20 years - thank you for telling me how much that has meant to you. I never knew.

This is to PN, MZ, and KM - I'm grateful for the hugs, the love and the laughter - especially on Tuesday. It feels like another daughter is leaving with KM's marriage... and yes I did cry but I managed to wait until John got the car unlocked!

To R & J and J & L - There are no words to tell you what I feel... It is really too bad that we aren't allowed to pick our families when we are born, but at least we get to pick them when we get older and I'm so grateful we are family now.

To my little Mouse - who gives me such happiness everyday and tries really hard to fill D.O.G.'s paw prints.

I'm grateful for those of you who help to make my life complete.

FORTUNATE

Started this on Saturday, May 13 but got distracted ... so here it is

The past week has been... challenging. That doesn't even begin to explain it but my brain is tired.

My mother was laid to rest on Friday in Jacksonville, Florida after a week of dealing with no less than three funeral homes in three different cities, a cemetary and a guy I'll call a "funeral broker." Fortunately it was not actually me dealing with this as my wonderful hubby did all that for me. Still there were decisions to make and things to be done and all the while my real life was going full steam ahead.

I wasn't able to fly to Florida for the funeral but I was fortunate enough to have been here and spend time with my mother before she left us. Funerals are for the living and I've never really had much use for them anyway.

We had three dinner shows and two fairy tales shows in the span of three days! It's a wonder I didn't get my lines mixed up between the two different shows. Today was a not only a mental challenge but a physical one as we had three of those shows all between 11:30 am and 10:30 pm! Can you say T-I-R-E-D? I'm tired but fortunate that all week I have been surrounded by this incredible support system of extended family and friends that have been there when I needed to lean on them, made me laugh when I didn't feel like it and sometimes made me laugh until I cried!

So to those of you who have kept my spirits up by email or phone calls or by your physical presence - Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I love you.

Weariness

Weariness has begun to set in and has brought with it some aches and pains. All I want to do is sleep or eat or watch TV. I shouldn't feel that tired because I'm not doing that much.

I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband that has taken on the lion's share of making arrangements for my mother's funeral in Florida. He is my rock, my best friend and the love of my life.

I have a beautiful daughter and son (I hate the phrase in-law) that are going to travel to Florida and be there for the service. She will be my eyes since I won't be able to go. It hurts me that I can't be there FOR HER. Thankfully, she has a wonderful husband too.

Our son in Iraq can't be here but we've talked and his wife who is here in the states calls and instant messages often just to check in. She wanted to travel to Florida too but can't miss her school finals.

In Florida I have cousins who are helping by calling family and arranging a more personal service than having a pastor who didn't even know my mother speak about her. I'm sure it will be very meaningful for everyone there and I know it is what she would have liked.

Here in California I have the absolute best support system of friends that anyone could ask for - they hug me and care for me and they are just "there" if I need them.

But I am weary. Perhaps the past several months (not to mention the past week) have caught up with me... not only have they caught up, they are kicking my butt! So I guess I'll give into them for a little while which is soooo not me!

There was an article about our friend Gregg in the Sacramento Bee today - some of you have asked how he came to make the decision to end his own life, the article may help you understand. http://www.sacbee.com/content/news/story/14253189p-15069134c.html

Thank you my family and friends for loving me and sustaining me through difficult times. I love you!
Rox

Sadness and Joy in Death

I'm sure some may be saying how can you have joy in death?

Joy comes in celebration of a life lived... in knowing that in death they are free from pain and sorrow.

Death has touched me twice within the past two days - I sincerely hope it is NOT true that death comes in three's.

My mother, Mary, passed away Saturday, May 6. It was a peaceful passing and we are glad that she did not have to suffer any more than she did with lung cancer. Her fear was that she would suffer like her father, who also died from lung cancer. His was a horrible, horrible death - something no one should ever have to suffer through. While my mother did experience some pain in the last couple of weeks, she was spared the awfulness it could have been. Rest well Mom.

Our friend Gregg, also passed away this weekend (see my previous post to this blog about him) and we received word today that he is gone. Rest well my friend.

Yes, I am sad but I am also finding joy in the fact that neither my mother or my friend will have to be in pain anymore -- they are free.

If you would like to honor either of them (Mary Stone or Gregg Gour) please make a donation in their memory to your favorite charity or church - it will do so much good and is a very special way to celebrate their lives.

Thank you for your love and support.

Goodbye and No Regrets

Yesterday, we received a final email from a friend who is dying from AIDS. He has lived with the disease for 24 years. About a year and a half ago he made the decision to go off of his HIV medication, as the side-effects of the medications were making him sicker than the virus itself. He decided that he no longer wanted to fight death and In December of 2005 he was given six months to live. Beacause of a dream he had he made the decision to buy an RV and travel cross country with his dog, Cody, saying goodbye to family and friends. He called it his "Goodbye and No Regrets Tour." During his journey he sent emails to his friends and family about his adventures and shared his feelings on many things.

Several months ago when he announced that he had gone off of his meds and that he had done everything on his to do list some of us got angry. I remember one friend commenting to me, "Make another To Do List!" What we didn't understand was that our friend was tired of the fight and he was ready to go. He has decided that he doesn't want to put his loved ones through watching him die what could be a slow and painful death. He wants to leave on his own terms so he will end his own life. Since we have received his final email, I am guessing that he has decided it is time to leave this life soon. We are told that when he is gone a friend will send an email to his distribution list letting us know. An email none of us really want to receive but knowing that when we do he will finally be at peace.

Many people see his actions as the coward's way out. I see it as a final loving and courageous act. As long as I have known him he has been a courageous and loving man, so it is fitting that he will die as he has lived.

To our friend Gregg Gour: I'm sure that somewhere Jeffrey is waiting for you along with all your friends and family that have gone before. May you be at peace my friend - you are loved.

Gregg strongly believes in and supports AB-651, the California Compassionate Choices Act and left this message in his final email:
"I hope you all will check out the AB-651 Website: www.compassionatechoices.org
Even though you might not live in California, I hope you will at least consider where you stand on the issue of Physician Aid in Dying. Think about the independent, full life I’ve lived, as I described above. Consider what I’ve been writing over the past 20 Emails. Put my face on the issue, if it will help you reach a conclusion as to whether or not terminally ill patients should have a choice not to die unconsciously, starving to death through the currently practiced, Physician-assisted method of receiving ONLY Morphine until you finally die; even it if it takes weeks. Don’t remain in the silent majority. And remember, being “alive” is not “living”. AB-651 doesn’t mean you have to make the choice; it just means, if you are terminally ill, you can legally have a choice. No Religion, No Government, No Family Member should block a psychologically approved, competent, terminally ill patient from choosing how to face his/her own, imminent death, if he/she feels the best way to end the suffering and pain is with the humane aid of a Physician."

A documentary was made of Gregg's "Goodbye and No Regrets Tour" by Greenie Flims. Go here to find out more: www.greeniefilms.com/films/home.htm

Conflicted

The immigration "rallies" today have left me angry and conflicted.

Angry because here are people who want to be in America and want all that America has to offer, yet today they carried the flag of Mexico (granted, today there were more American flags than in the March rallies) and chanted their "battle cry" in Spanish. I feel they dishonor all of their ancestors and my own ancestors that came here legally. These ancestors (mine and theirs) left all they had known, and sometimes never saw their families again. They paid their way, they were too proud to take government help -- they learned English -- they WANTED to fit in. They paid their taxes -- they helped to build this country that now helps everyone... takes care of everyone - whether they are here legally or not.

Here in California they talk of how "we" stole California from "them" and that was WRONG -- Does that mean when"they" stole Mexico from Spain it was RIGHT?

My son-in-law is from Iran... he and his family came here legally when he was about 11. It wasn't easy for them - soon his mother was raising three children in a strange land with no husband and my son-in-law became the man of the house at an early age and worked selling bags of oranges on the street to help his mom make ends meet. They didn't take government money, they worked hard to become American citizens. He's worked hard to put himself through college to become a doctor and now he takes care of people that break the law to come and live in this country and don't pay their doctor bills or hospital bills.

My daughter-in-law is from Korea... she came here legally by marrying my son. She's not home free -- she has to fill out paperwork every year and she has to go to interviews so immigration can make sure that they are really a couple and he didn't just marry her so she could come to America. She has learned English, she pays taxes, she studies hard so that she can graduate from college. In addition to studying for her college major she studies American History so she will be ready to take her citizenship tests. It isn't easy, but she wants to be an American.

I'm conflicted because I believe everyone has the right to a better life... if they are willing to work for it and come by it legally. I don't think it should be handed to them just because they do jobs that Americans supposedly won't. I know many people in the South that would jump at the chance to work for the kind of wages that people who are here illegally are making.

Today a friend of mine closed his business in solidarity of the immigration rallies and was hoping to take part in a local march. His parents came here from Mexico legally. We had a bit of a discussion (fortunately we always agree to disagree!) about all this. One of the things he mentioned was that America has no problem spending billions of dollars going to war to "liberate" other countries (like Iraq) and take care of them. But we won't spend the money to fix our borders and have soldiers patrolling here at home instead of having them patrolling in Iraq. I pondered that it seemed easier for our government, both Democrat and Republican, to approve war than to fix what's wrong at home... neither of us had an answer as to why. One thing we did agree on today was that there should definitely be better border control for ALL of our borders - not just the Mexican/American one.

On a side note - I read an article today that said one of the areas in Iraq was asking the US soldiers and the Iraqi soldiers for more help with the insurgents. It doesn't matter how much we give - everyone wants more and more from us - we can't win.

I believe that if we approve amnesty for those that are here illegally it must come at a price -- they should be fined. They broke the law. If I break the law by speeding I have to pay the ticket. If I break the law by stealing I have to go to jail. I should think being allowed to stay here and use government services, schools, hospitals, public assistance if needed, would be worth paying a fine. I know it would be for me if I had entered and lived in this country illegally.

Don't judge me by the color of my skin - you see me as "white" but under this white skin runs not only the blood of my white, European ancestors but the blood of my Cherokee and African American ancestors as well -- I embrace them all and am very thankful they all came here legally so I could be born an American and live the life I do.