Goodbye and No Regrets

Yesterday, we received a final email from a friend who is dying from AIDS. He has lived with the disease for 24 years. About a year and a half ago he made the decision to go off of his HIV medication, as the side-effects of the medications were making him sicker than the virus itself. He decided that he no longer wanted to fight death and In December of 2005 he was given six months to live. Beacause of a dream he had he made the decision to buy an RV and travel cross country with his dog, Cody, saying goodbye to family and friends. He called it his "Goodbye and No Regrets Tour." During his journey he sent emails to his friends and family about his adventures and shared his feelings on many things.

Several months ago when he announced that he had gone off of his meds and that he had done everything on his to do list some of us got angry. I remember one friend commenting to me, "Make another To Do List!" What we didn't understand was that our friend was tired of the fight and he was ready to go. He has decided that he doesn't want to put his loved ones through watching him die what could be a slow and painful death. He wants to leave on his own terms so he will end his own life. Since we have received his final email, I am guessing that he has decided it is time to leave this life soon. We are told that when he is gone a friend will send an email to his distribution list letting us know. An email none of us really want to receive but knowing that when we do he will finally be at peace.

Many people see his actions as the coward's way out. I see it as a final loving and courageous act. As long as I have known him he has been a courageous and loving man, so it is fitting that he will die as he has lived.

To our friend Gregg Gour: I'm sure that somewhere Jeffrey is waiting for you along with all your friends and family that have gone before. May you be at peace my friend - you are loved.

Gregg strongly believes in and supports AB-651, the California Compassionate Choices Act and left this message in his final email:
"I hope you all will check out the AB-651 Website: www.compassionatechoices.org
Even though you might not live in California, I hope you will at least consider where you stand on the issue of Physician Aid in Dying. Think about the independent, full life I’ve lived, as I described above. Consider what I’ve been writing over the past 20 Emails. Put my face on the issue, if it will help you reach a conclusion as to whether or not terminally ill patients should have a choice not to die unconsciously, starving to death through the currently practiced, Physician-assisted method of receiving ONLY Morphine until you finally die; even it if it takes weeks. Don’t remain in the silent majority. And remember, being “alive” is not “living”. AB-651 doesn’t mean you have to make the choice; it just means, if you are terminally ill, you can legally have a choice. No Religion, No Government, No Family Member should block a psychologically approved, competent, terminally ill patient from choosing how to face his/her own, imminent death, if he/she feels the best way to end the suffering and pain is with the humane aid of a Physician."

A documentary was made of Gregg's "Goodbye and No Regrets Tour" by Greenie Flims. Go here to find out more: www.greeniefilms.com/films/home.htm