Saturday, December 30, 2006

Home Sweet Home...



We arrived home about 2:30pm today California time and all of us are glad to be out of the car. We had a great time with all the kids at Christmas and wish we all lived closer to each other... maybe one day. It's always fun and interesting to see the fine adults they have grown into - hard to believe the baby, Ben, will be 25 in six months... he turns a quarter of a century old while his old ma turns a half a century old... where has the time gone? We are so proud of all 4 of the kids!

The kids in Maryland have a beautiful new home and have done some wonderful things to it. They are on their way to becoming very successful young professionals (not sure where she got that ambition from but we are glad she did!). They are both working hard but seem to be able to find a little time to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

We are so glad to have Ben home safe and sound. The recent events in Iraq make us even more thankful that he isn't there right now. We really enjoyed our whirlwind tour of DC with Ben and Jeongah and they took some great pictures, both are very good photographers! The one on the right is my favorite place in DC - the World War II Memorial at night. John and I sat there while Ben and Jeongah went to the Lincoln Memorial, the Korean War Memorial and the Vietnam Memorial. It was quite beautiful, peaceful and touching. The other picture is the Washington Monument of course. We were lucky enough to get tickets to go up to the top - it was awesome!

Ben gets out of the Army in March and we are looking forward to having both of them here with us for a little while. His plan is to go back to the Middle East as a contractor... but I'm not going to think about that right now... I'll think about it tomorrow.

Hamlet and Mouse will have one more installment in the next few days but I just wanted to let everyone know we are home safe and sound and looking forward to a Bright and Shiny 2007!

Happy New Year to you all!

Hugs,
Rox

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Way Out West in Texas....

AnimalLog - December 28, 2006 -- We are headed to Texas. The weather is going to be bad the way we had planned to go, through northern New Mexico and Arizona, so we decided to go down through Oklahoma and Texas - the southern route. Mommy and Daddy are not happy about it. This rental car (a Jeep Liberty) slid several times in the rain in Maryland so they don't want to chance it in the snow. We all really wanted to see some snow but it doesn't look like that will happen this trip. Hamlet and I are really bored and wish we were home already. I guess I will try and take a nap although it may be difficult because Hamlet is standing in the middle of the back seat right now watching cows. He is fascinated by them and there a lots of them on the road we are on now. Maybe he thinks they are big dogs. -- Mouse

I miss the dog park. I am so tired of being in the car. At least there are lots of cows to look at today. They are really lucky because they have a huge cow park to play in but I don't see them play very much -- they just stand around and lay around.
Mommy has found two ticks on me - yuck! One was on my forehead and the other one on the side of my face. I have never had ticks before - it's too hot for them were we live. It really hurt when Mom pulled them off. She said they are probably from the very first walk I went on in Maryland becasue they were so fat. I hope I don't have anymore. Mommy and Daddy said they are going to give me a flea and tick bath when I get home just to make sure. I don't think I want to live where ticks live. -- Hamlet

I saw a horse and it scared me! After that I kept my eyes open on the lookout for horses that might be following us. Thank goodness I didn't see anymore! I did see and oil well... they kind of look like horses moving in one place - it was pretty scary too. There are lots of scary things on this route. We have stopped for the night in a place called Van Horn, Texas. It was raining and getting dark so we decided to stop about 100 miles shy of where we had planned. It may be Saturday before we get home - oh well. -- Mouse

PS: Mom says it has been a bad day for cell phone reception so if you called today she will call you tomorrow when we go through bigger towns.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Back on the road again...

AnimalLog - December 26, 2006 -- We are on our way back to California and we are all very tired. We had a great time in Maryland with everyone and Christmas was great! I got a stuffed buffalo from Baby and a squeaky reindeer from Ben and Jeongah that squeaks really loud, Mommy and Daddy gave me a chew toy and Mouse gave me a... stuffed mouse! I had alot of fun playing with everything yesterday! I am sad that we had to leave today but Daddy has a big meeting for work next week that he has to get ready for so we need to get home. Mommy said that everyone was probably getting tired of me too. Daddy says I have too much energy -- I can't help it I just love to play! I guess Baby doesn't like to play as much as I do - I think she was ready for me to go home - I will miss her! I had alot of fun and I already miss everyone but it will be good to get home and see all my friends at the dog park. Ben and Jeongah will be coming to stay with us in March so I will be looking forward to that! I had a White Castle burger for lunch - boy was it good! I think I will take a nap now - more later! -- Hamlet

I miss Roya already. Hamlet and I have been asleep in the car most of the day today. We played alot with our new toys and family yesterday. I got a new feather from Ben and Jeongah and some kitty treat mix that Mommy and I are going to bake when we get home. I also got some mice and balls in my stocking. We are in Indiana now and it is sleeting and about 33 degrees. Brrrrr. Mommy said she will put my jacket on me tomorrow. We are going to stop in about two hours - I'm glad cause I'm really hungry! Have a good evening -- Mouse.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Ben's Hair...



AnimalLog December 21, 2006 -- So, what do you think of Ben's new look? He has to shave it all off when he goes back to work for the Army in January but he can have fun with it for awhile.

Hope everyone is looking forward to a fun holiday - we are! Everyone sends their love! -- Mouse

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Toys, Bones and Treats

AnimalLog December 20, 2007 -- I got some new toys this week when we went shopping for pet food. Baby likes my toys and takes them away sometimes - I don't mind too much because she gets tired of them pretty fast and I get them back. Sometimes she will growl and try to take my treats and I don't like that too much. I don't let go of those so easily.

Today Mommy and Daddy took me for a long walk around the lake and I saw ducks and geese and a deer. It was nice being with just Mom and Dad for awhile. Baby went for a walk on her trail with her Mom and Dad too so we got a break from each other. We were both really hungry when we got home and ate alot and then we slept. Now I am bored. I think I'll go and find something to play with. -- Hamlet

Ben and Jeongah got here last night and I hid in the basement. I had the best hiding place ever. Miki and Mom and Dad all looked right at me and didn't see me. Mom found me when she came back and looked again! Ben still scares me a little but I'm getting better at being around him. Baby barks alot at him because he makes her angry so that scares me too - Baby barks really loud!

Ben surprised everyone with a new haircut and hair color yesterday. I think it makes him scarier. Last night it was spiked with green on the tip of the spikes for Christmas. I will try and post a picture tomrrow -- Mouse


Monday, December 18, 2006

Hamlet Being Put in His Place

AnimalLog December 18, 2006 -- I asked Roya what it meant for Baby to put Hamlet in his place and he said that she was telling him who the boss was around here! Whew! I'm really glad that it doesn't mean he has to stay here. He can be annoying but I would really miss him if he didn't come home with us. Cleo is beginning to tolerate me and Roya and I have fun playing. I would play all day but he likes to take alot of naps. I enjoy naps too but sometimes I get really bored. Oh well, I'm just glad he still likes to play with me - he's fun! -- Mouse

I haven't been allowed on the internet because I was bad the first couple of days we were in Maryland. I have been on my best behavior (almost) yesterday and today. It's really hard sometimes because I love Baby and I love to play but she doesn't like to play as much as I do so she get angry with me sometimes. She also doesn't like it when I play with her toys AND she takes my toys too. I don't mind too much - I just try and find something else to play with. We went on a walk together today around a big lake. The first day I was here we went to Baby's trail and they convinced Mom to let me off the leash. WOW! I had a blast and ran and ran and ran but Mommy kept telling me goodbye if I got to far away and they would start to leave me and I would have to run to catch up with them. It really scared me and I thought they were going to really leave me. Mommy had tears in her eyes a few times so I don't think she would have REALLY left me but I didn't want to find out. It was fun off the leash but Mommy and Daddy decided I wasn't quite ready for that. I'm glad they decided that because it was pretty scary!

Ben and Jeongah will be here sometime tomorrow and we have a big fenced back yard here to play in with Ben - we will have lots of fun!

I hope all of you are looking forward to a good holiday season! They decorated a tree last night in the living room and there are some presents under it. It looks like fun but Mommy says I have to stay away from it. I hope there are presents for me! -- Hamlet

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Puppie Love

AnimalLog December 17, 2007 -- It's a really good thing Mommy and Daddy and I (not to mention Mikisha and Sina) love Hamlet. He was really bad the first two days we were here. He peed in the basement, he peed on one of Baby's dog beds, and he peed in a plant! What an embarrassment he is! Cleo says she's glad he's not HER brother! Of course she doesn't like me much either because Roya likes me! Roya says that Hamlet is just a puppy and that he remembers Baby being alot like Hamlet when she was a puppy except maybe for the peeing thing.

Today has been better. He didn't pee in the house today or yesterday and he hasn't chewed anything up here so I guess maybe he is settling in. Baby gets mad at him alot. Sometimes she wants to play with him and it seems like they are having a good time and then she gets mad at him and growls and barks and snaps and won't let him play with her toys. She can get really mad if he goes near her mommy and sometimes she gets upset if he goes our mommy. She scares me when she barks so I just hide! I guess it's hard when you are the only dog and then you have this crazy puppy show up and try to take over.

Daddy said that Baby is putting Hamlet "in his place." I'm not sure what that means. He says it like it's a good thing. Does that mean his place is here and he isn't going home with us? I don't think that's what it means but Hamlet isn't sure. I will ask Roya tomorrow because he knows everything.

I'm tired. Hamlet is already asleep on the bed and I can barely hold my eyes open. More tomorrow. -- Mouse

Saturday, December 16, 2006

From Kansas to Maryland

AnimalLog December 14, 2006 - I had a fun time at Ben and Jeongah's house! Ben and I played alot. Mommy says I have to get a job so I can pay for all the things we tore up. The first thing we messed up were some placemats when Ben and I were wrestling and he pushed me against the table where Mommy and Daddy had their coffee one morning - Oops! Then Ben thought it would be fun for me to play with Jeongah's big excercise ball. He asked her if it was OK and she said yes. But, mommy warned them that I have really sharp teeth and can tear up a soccer ball in about 5 minutes. I had fun playing with for a few minutes (it was the size of about 5 or 6 soccer balls!) until bu teeth put a hold in it. I still had fun after that to but then we had to put it away.

The next day while all the humans were having breakfast I got bored and started to chew on the bottom of Jeongah's slipper - I only chewed it a little before she caught me and took them away.

Later that day Ben was using Jeongah's watch to time her presentations she had to give for college that night and when they were done the watch somehow fell on the floor. I picked it up and I just couldn't resist chewing it! It was a sports watch and it was pretty blue rubber... just like some of my toys! I guess I got mixed up - Oops. Mommy got her another watch.

We are about 30 minutes away from Mikisha's house and I can't wait! I am so excited! I will try and be better this week. I won't be so bored with Baby and Roya and Cleo around! -- Hamlet

Unfortunately I was the first one to break something at Ben's house. I felt so bad. Why do people have to put things on their windowsills. We don't have things in our windows at home and I love to sit in them and look outside. Around midnight the first night we were there I went into the kitchen and pulled the window shade back and hopped into the window and CRASH! A flower pot fell off the window sill! I ran really fast into the living room where Mommy and Daddy were hoping Hamlet would get blamed. They could see that he was sound asleep when it happened... so they know it was me. It was a pretty pot that Jeongah had painted... I still feel so bad about it. I hope there isn't anything in the girl's windows. I'll have to ask Roya when I get there! I can't wait to see my boyfriend! Mommy says that he has a sister now, Cleo, and she might be jealous. I hope not. -- Mouse

PS - We are at Miki's safe and sound - more later!


Monday, December 11, 2006

On the road again...

Do not adjust your computers... Roxanne's blog has been taken over by Hamlet and Mouse who will report on parts of our "2006 Home for the Holidays Tour" - a Diesel-Harrison-Haeri Production.

AnimalLog December 7, 2006
- It sure is a long way to this dog park we are going to. Several times we have stopped and I got out but there wasn't a dog park in site!
Mouse says we aren't going to a dog park but we are going to see our girls and our boys and Baby and Roya and Cleo. Who are they and why does it take so long to get there? We are stopping at a hotel tonight. I know what those are - we stayed at those when we went to Yellowstone. Mouse got her own bed that time. This time I want my own bed! -- Hamlet

The dog thinks that every time he gets in the car he is going to a dog park. He is so spoiled. He is also a back seat hog! For the first few hours I tried to stay in my space and lay in my little bed. Hey, I only weigh about 8 pounds so I don't take up much room but he kept invading my space, laying on my bed and laying on me! I have figured out that if I lay right in the middle of the back seat he won't lay on me because Mom and Dad can see him and he will get in trouble. So I just stretch out and he has to lay on one side or the other! Ha - I showed him. Hey we are at the hotel! -- Mouse

There is a dog outside that wants to play with me. I wish he would go away. He barks alot and makes me bark and then I get yelled at. -- Hamlet

There is a dog outside our hotel room who won't shut up and he keeps scratching at our door. I hope he stops soon. I need my rest. -- Mouse

AnimalLog December 8, 2006 - Hey it's really early but I think that dog finally went home. Now I can get some sleep! Hey, what's that noise? Why is mom getting up? Why is the shower running? Oh now - that means I have to get up soon. Whhhyyyy? -- Hamlet

We are back in the car and everything is brown and flat. Yesterday we went through one of my favorite spots on the trip -- the beautiful canyons in Arizona between Nevada and Utah. Every time we drive through there I rush from window to window trying to drink it all in. It's just beautiful. Last night we saw hundreds of lighted Christmas trees in the Vail, Co area - they were everywhere and so big! There were white lights and multi-colored lights and then there were some that started out on top with golden lights and as they went down to the base of the tree there were red lights on the end. We all enjoyed that part of the ride. -- Mouse

My ears popped alot yesterday but today they are fine. I went for a long walk and chased a tumbleweed and now I am ready for a nap. Mommy says we will be there soon. I hope so. I like car rides but I'm ready to get out of the car for awhile! -- Hamlet

We have arrived... uh oh. I remember this place - it's where the scary boy lives. I will try and be brave. He scared me when I was only a few months old and I have never forgotten him. Here we go... oh no, HE is getting me and my carrier out of the car to go inside. I can do this... be brave, be brave... -- Mouse.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Long time, no write



Wow! I've written nothing since July? Yikes! Life's been busy as usual!

What has happened in those 5 months?
  • Hamlet went from 45 pounds to somewhere between 65-70!
  • Mouse and Hamlet finally agreed to get along. Now she encourages the chasing - most of the time!
  • John went to work for Event 360 - a spin off event company from Pallotta.
  • John's sister and her family came for a visit. It was great hanging out with them and finally meeting our neice Stephanie in person and seeing Chris (our nephew) - can't believe he's a teenager!
  • Camps went well - we ended up with 555 kids total - we missed Jenny!
  • John and I made it through fall classes and our fall murder mystery show. We have some new cast members and they did a great job!
  • GV is seeing someone! Hope it works out!

The kids are doing great.
We leave for Maryland in a couple of days then head on to Maryland where we will be for Chirstmas. Jeongah and Ben will join us closer to the holiday. It's the first Christmas we have all been together since Ben joined the Army - can't wait!

Hmmm... perhaps I will blog this trip instead of sending everyone emails and photos... gotta think on that.
More later,
Me



Sunday, July 02, 2006

Hamlet is here!

We've had our bouncy bundle of joy for over 24 hours now and he is a great dog. He was in the house for about 10 minutes and it seemed (to him and us) he'd always been here.

We are having a few cat and dog issues. Mouse isn't sure about him yet and he wants to chase her - it will take some time - today was better than yesterday.

I feel like we got a free gym membership (we needed one!) to "Hamlet Gym" except this is one that MUST be used everyday. Between two walks a day, playing ball, keeping him out of things in the yard he shouldn't be into and the intense heat here we should get into better shape!

We are enjoying hanging out with him and getting to know him. He's very co-dependent - he has to be right with us and cries if one of us leaves him. John should have fun on Wednesday when I leave to teach camp for three days! We are off and running... He's a good boy, hope it continues!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

The Dog of My Life

Most everyone (those who are animal lovers) has been lucky enough to have one special animal touch their life... some have been lucky enough to have more than one. I have been very lucky to have had many special animals pass through my life from the time I was very young.


There was one that was, what I call, "The dog of my life" - we had a special bond and he was truly mine and I was truly his. His name was D.O.G. and he loved everyone and he loved other animals. He was amazing!

We don't know much about his history before we found him when he was about 7 months old but we know enough (a bb in his butt, fear of a lit cigarette, fear of gunshots and fireworks, flea and tick infested, etc) to tell that his first 7 months or so were not happy ones. He was a theater dog - I found him at the community theater where I volunteered. It was rainy and miserable and he was covered with more ticks and fleas than I have ever seen on one animal. We spent hours picking them off before taking him the next morning to the vet to get him totally de-flead and de-ticked!

From the moment he came home with us all he wanted to do was make us happy. He never went potty in the house - NEVER. He never chased or hurt our cats and he knew which ones were his. He would bark and chase the neighborhood cats that wandered in to our yard by mistake! He even let our 18 year-old cat curl up with him and play in his hair. And then when baby Mouse came along he let her do the same thing!


He never tore up shoes or carpets or furniture - although he did tear up his own toys quite well. He loved stuffed animals and would tear the stuffing out of most of them... except for one little penguin we named "Chilly" - it was a Christmas gift from his "Aunt Loretta and Uncle John" and that was the only toy he ever had that he didn’t tear apart. He loved that toy and would squeak it gently and just hold it in his mouth! He also loved presents and loved to open the wrapping - if you weren't careful on Christmas morning he would open your presents too!

He was a herding dog and though he never actually herded anything he always worried about his herd... his family and any other animals in the house. We also believe he was a dentist in a previous life because he loved nothing better to look in your mouth. It was a weird little thing he started doing as a puppy and kept doing all his life.

He was truly a wonderful and amazing dog. He had hip problems (arthritis and dysplasia) in is later years and during his last year suffered a ligament tear (that couldn't be operated on) that made walking and standing even harder but he kept on being the best dog ever... just at a slower pace. He was with us for almost 12 years and when he left us last October, after several painful months, he left a huge hole in my heart that has yet to heal.

No other animal has ever affected me in this way. For months I still expected him to greet us at the door, or worried when there were fireworks or car backfires because he hated loud noises and would run and hide. For awhile I thought I would never be able to let another dog into my heart. But a run in with a bouncy, adorable bearded collie/sheepdog mix changed that last week and "Hamlet" will be coming home with us tomorrow. He is between 7-10 months old (and already stands mid-thigh on me) and was rescued from the shelter the day before he was to be put down. With that name... well, he was destined to live in a theater family!

I know that chances are slim that there will ever be a bond with a dog like there was with D.O.G. but I think I'm finally ready to make room in my heart for another dog - John has been ready for a long time and Mouse, well, she just doesn't know she's ready yet! I think D.O.G. would approve and I know he would love Hamlet because he never met anyone that he didn't love.

More on "Life with Hamlet" in the weeks to come. It's been a long time since we had a puppy in the house -- should be interesting.


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

It's Going to be a Long Hot Summer...

Summer camps start on Monday and I am not ready! Well, that's not exactly true... The script has been written (Thanks Sarah!), the costumes planned and materials purchased, other supplies purchased, the dances have been choreographed, t-shirts printed (almost), staff is being trained, cd's have been burned, and to-date, 386 kids are registered. By Saturday afternoon everything should be organized and ready to go for the majority of the 17 camps we are holding this year.

Today I have discovered that my body is not quite ready to be on the go for 16 hours a day 5 days a week for 9 weeks. I'm tired! I think that my body has not quite recovered from the first part of this year and it
is another year older and way out of shape. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? Someone remind me of that every time I whine! No whinners!

I suppose getting to bed before 1 am would help -- I think I'll try that right now!

Happy Summer Everyone - the goddess of summer camps smiles upon you!

I think I'll try making more of those frozen concoctions that help us hang on... for an awesome frozen concoction maker check this out http://www.margaritavillecargo.com/ - nice.

Fins up!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Too Attached to TV

OK, I love movies and I like to watch TV but I'm kinda selective about what I watch. Today I discovered that I was waaaayyyy to attached to some of the TV shows I have been watching.

A couple of weeks ago I watched what I thought was the very last show of "7th Heaven." (yes, I watch that - what can I say, I watched "The Waltons," "Little House on the Prarie" and "Eight is Enough" too. I guess being an only child, they were the family I didn't have.) I cried - but not as much as I thought I would. Come to find out - "7th Heaven" will be back on the new CW network -Hooray, Hooray, let's have some wine!

Today, I watched, what I thought was the season finale of "Everwood" but found out, as it was coming on, that it was the FINAL show of "Everwood." Damn the WB/CW!

So, I watched the entire two hours (thank goodness it was recorded so I could skip the commercials) and bawled like a baby! I cried because of the storylines (at least they were given the chance to wrap everything up) and I cried because I was so freakin' attached to the show and the characters.

So you would think after such a good cry I would be fine... Oh no, then I go and watch the story of Audrey Hepburn ... OMIGOD - cried through that. Now I'm going to have some ice cream and go to bed and watch reruns of "The Deadliest Catch" - because, in my next life, I will be one of the deckhands on a fishing boat in Alaska!

Looking forward to the summer shows like "The 4400," and "The Closer" -- they don't make me cry (usually) - stay tuned!

Friday, June 02, 2006

Summer Heat in Iraq

It's warming up here in California - especially here in the high desert where we are already in the 90's - supposed to be 98 today! Thankfully we are still in the 60's at night!

Whenever I think about complaining about the heat - I check the temperature in Iraq where my son Ben is...

Right now, it's 9 pm and it's 102 degrees (supposed to be 114 tomorrow!)! Sometime during the evening it will get down to 88 degrees.

At least we can dress for the warm weather and most of us have A/C. There is A/C there in the larger camps but when the soldiers are out working with the Iraqi Police or on patrol there is no A/C. I can't even begin to imagine how they do it with the uniform, the flak vest and all the gear they have to carry.

Take care of yourself Ben - we love you and miss you so much!
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Drunk Calling...

Ever had too much to drink and then call all your friends or family and let them know? Sometimes it's quite funny, other times, not so much.

This weekend I made a couple of those calls - one call was around 3 pm (hey it was 5 O'clock somewhere) from a place in Morro Bay, CA that has a small aquarium and some sea lions (rescues) that you can feed. They are quite funny to watch as they bark and wave and slap their sides for a piece of fish. What's even funnier to watch are 6 drunks trying to feed them.

Admission for 6 adults: $12
Sea Lion Food: $6
Half a dozen drunks amusing the sea lions: PRICELESS

So - KA - why didn't I get a drunk call from you? I hope you had "other things" to do!

JL, LL, RK, JK & JD - We may be growing older, but we certainly aren't growing up! Thanks for a fun weekend - I needed that!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Grateful

I am grateful to my John for becoming an instant daddy over 20 years ago and for putting up with all the craziness that the kids and I have brought into his life and for loving us through it all and for marrying me 20 years ago and never regretting it (or at least for not admitting it!)

This is for KA - I'm thinking of you and your sister and sending good thoughts that the biopsy comes back with good news. I'm grateful you are my friend.

This is for my son... Stay safe baby boy and know that there is a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of you. I'm grateful you are mine.

This is for my daughter who is working hard and finally getting the chance to spread her legal wings - I am so proud of you. I'm grateful that you are mine.

This is for GV because he checks this blog everyday and now there is something to read! I'm grateful for our friendship.

I'm grateful that my children picked such wonderful spouses that are a real part of our family -- we truly have gained another son and daughter.

This is for my mother-in-law who I've called "Mom" for the past 20 years - thank you for telling me how much that has meant to you. I never knew.

This is to PN, MZ, and KM - I'm grateful for the hugs, the love and the laughter - especially on Tuesday. It feels like another daughter is leaving with KM's marriage... and yes I did cry but I managed to wait until John got the car unlocked!

To R & J and J & L - There are no words to tell you what I feel... It is really too bad that we aren't allowed to pick our families when we are born, but at least we get to pick them when we get older and I'm so grateful we are family now.

To my little Mouse - who gives me such happiness everyday and tries really hard to fill D.O.G.'s paw prints.

I'm grateful for those of you who help to make my life complete.


Sunday, May 14, 2006

FORTUNATE

Started this on Saturday, May 13 but got distracted ... so here it is

The past week has been... challenging. That doesn't even begin to explain it but my brain is tired.

My mother was laid to rest on Friday in Jacksonville, Florida after a week of dealing with no less than three funeral homes in three different cities, a cemetary and a guy I'll call a "funeral broker." Fortunately it was not actually me dealing with this as my wonderful hubby did all that for me. Still there were decisions to make and things to be done and all the while my real life was going full steam ahead.

I wasn't able to fly to Florida for the funeral but I was fortunate enough to have been here and spend time with my mother before she left us. Funerals are for the living and I've never really had much use for them anyway.

We had three dinner shows and two fairy tales shows in the span of three days! It's a wonder I didn't get my lines mixed up between the two different shows. Today was a not only a mental challenge but a physical one as we had three of those shows all between 11:30 am and 10:30 pm! Can you say T-I-R-E-D? I'm tired but fortunate that all week I have been surrounded by this incredible support system of extended family and friends that have been there when I needed to lean on them, made me laugh when I didn't feel like it and sometimes made me laugh until I cried!

So to those of you who have kept my spirits up by email or phone calls or by your physical presence - Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I love you.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Weariness

Weariness has begun to set in and has brought with it some aches and pains. All I want to do is sleep or eat or watch TV. I shouldn't feel that tired because I'm not doing that much.

I am so fortunate to have a wonderful husband that has taken on the lion's share of making arrangements for my mother's funeral in Florida. He is my rock, my best friend and the love of my life.

I have a beautiful daughter and son (I hate the phrase in-law) that are going to travel to Florida and be there for the service. She will be my eyes since I won't be able to go. It hurts me that I can't be there FOR HER. Thankfully, she has a wonderful husband too.

Our son in Iraq can't be here but we've talked and his wife who is here in the states calls and instant messages often just to check in. She wanted to travel to Florida too but can't miss her school finals.

In Florida I have cousins who are helping by calling family and arranging a more personal service than having a pastor who didn't even know my mother speak about her. I'm sure it will be very meaningful for everyone there and I know it is what she would have liked.

Here in California I have the absolute best support system of friends that anyone could ask for - they hug me and care for me and they are just "there" if I need them.

But I am weary. Perhaps the past several months (not to mention the past week) have caught up with me... not only have they caught up, they are kicking my butt! So I guess I'll give into them for a little while which is soooo not me!

There was an article about our friend Gregg in the Sacramento Bee today - some of you have asked how he came to make the decision to end his own life, the article may help you understand. http://www.sacbee.com/content/news/story/14253189p-15069134c.html

Thank you my family and friends for loving me and sustaining me through difficult times. I love you!
Rox

Monday, May 08, 2006

Sadness and Joy in Death

I'm sure some may be saying how can you have joy in death?

Joy comes in celebration of a life lived... in knowing that in death they are free from pain and sorrow.

Death has touched me twice within the past two days - I sincerely hope it is NOT true that death comes in three's.

My mother, Mary, passed away Saturday, May 6. It was a peaceful passing and we are glad that she did not have to suffer any more than she did with lung cancer. Her fear was that she would suffer like her father, who also died from lung cancer. His was a horrible, horrible death - something no one should ever have to suffer through. While my mother did experience some pain in the last couple of weeks, she was spared the awfulness it could have been. Rest well Mom.

Our friend Gregg, also passed away this weekend (see my previous post to this blog about him) and we received word today that he is gone. Rest well my friend.

Yes, I am sad but I am also finding joy in the fact that neither my mother or my friend will have to be in pain anymore -- they are free.

If you would like to honor either of them (Mary Stone or Gregg Gour) please make a donation in their memory to your favorite charity or church - it will do so much good and is a very special way to celebrate their lives.

Thank you for your love and support.



Friday, May 05, 2006

Goodbye and No Regrets

Yesterday, we received a final email from a friend who is dying from AIDS. He has lived with the disease for 24 years. About a year and a half ago he made the decision to go off of his HIV medication, as the side-effects of the medications were making him sicker than the virus itself. He decided that he no longer wanted to fight death and In December of 2005 he was given six months to live. Beacause of a dream he had he made the decision to buy an RV and travel cross country with his dog, Cody, saying goodbye to family and friends. He called it his "Goodbye and No Regrets Tour." During his journey he sent emails to his friends and family about his adventures and shared his feelings on many things.

Several months ago when he announced that he had gone off of his meds and that he had done everything on his to do list some of us got angry. I remember one friend commenting to me, "Make another To Do List!" What we didn't understand was that our friend was tired of the fight and he was ready to go. He has decided that he doesn't want to put his loved ones through watching him die what could be a slow and painful death. He wants to leave on his own terms so he will end his own life. Since we have received his final email, I am guessing that he has decided it is time to leave this life soon. We are told that when he is gone a friend will send an email to his distribution list letting us know. An email none of us really want to receive but knowing that when we do he will finally be at peace.

Many people see his actions as the coward's way out. I see it as a final loving and courageous act. As long as I have known him he has been a courageous and loving man, so it is fitting that he will die as he has lived.

To our friend Gregg Gour: I'm sure that somewhere Jeffrey is waiting for you along with all your friends and family that have gone before.
May you be at peace my friend - you are loved.

Gregg strongly believes in and supports AB-651, the California Compassionate Choices Act and left this message in his final email:
"I hope you all will check out the AB-651 Website: www.compassionatechoices.org

Even though you might not live in California, I hope you will at least consider where you stand on the issue of Physician Aid in Dying. Think about the independent, full life I’ve lived, as I described above. Consider what I’ve been writing over the past 20 Emails. Put my face on the issue, if it will help you reach a conclusion as to whether or not terminally ill patients should have a choice not to die unconsciously, starving to death through the currently practiced, Physician-assisted method of receiving ONLY Morphine until you finally die; even it if it takes weeks. Don’t remain in the silent majority. And remember, being “alive” is not “living”. AB-651 doesn’t mean you have to make the choice; it just means, if you are terminally ill, you can legally have a choice. No Religion, No Government, No Family Member should block a psychologically approved, competent, terminally ill patient from choosing how to face his/her own, imminent death, if he/she feels the best way to end the suffering and pain is with the humane aid of a Physician."

A documentary was made of Gregg's "Goodbye and No Regrets Tour" by Greenie Flims. Go here to find out more: www.greeniefilms.com/films/home.htm

Monday, May 01, 2006

Conflicted

The immigration "rallies" today have left me angry and conflicted.

Angry because here are people who want to be in America and want all that America has to offer, yet today they carried the flag of Mexico (granted, today there were more American flags than in the March rallies) and chanted their "battle cry" in Spanish. I feel they dishonor all of their ancestors and my own ancestors that came here legally. These ancestors (mine and theirs) left all they had known, and sometimes never saw their families again. They paid their way, they were too proud to take government help -- they learned English -- they WANTED to fit in. They paid their taxes -- they helped to build this country that now helps everyone... takes care of everyone - whether they are here legally or not.

Here in California they talk of how "we" stole California from "them" and that was WRONG -- Does that mean when"they" stole Mexico from Spain it was RIGHT?

My son-in-law is from Iran... he and his family came here legally when he was about 11. It wasn't easy for them - soon his mother was raising three children in a strange land with no husband and my son-in-law became the man of the house at an early age and worked selling bags of oranges on the street to help his mom make ends meet. They didn't take government money, they worked hard to become American citizens. He's worked hard to put himself through college to become a doctor and now he takes care of people that break the law to come and live in this country and don't pay their doctor bills or hospital bills.

My daughter-in-law is from Korea... she came here legally by marrying my son. She's not home free -- she has to fill out paperwork every year and she has to go to interviews so immigration can make sure that they are really a couple and he didn't just marry her so she could come to America. She has learned English, she pays taxes, she studies hard so that she can graduate from college. In addition to studying for her college major she studies American History so she will be ready to take her citizenship tests. It isn't easy, but she wants to be an American.


I'm conflicted because I believe everyone has the right to a better life... if they are willing to work for it and come by it legally. I don't think it should be handed to them just because they do jobs that Americans supposedly won't. I know many people in the South that would jump at the chance to work for the kind of wages that people who are here illegally are making.

Today a friend of mine closed his business in solidarity of the immigration rallies and was hoping to take part in a local march. His parents came here from Mexico legally. We had a bit of a discussion (fortunately we always agree to disagree!) about all this. One of the things he mentioned was that America has no problem spending billions of dollars going to war to "liberate" other countries (like Iraq) and take care of them. But we won't spend the money to fix our borders and have soldiers patrolling here at home instead of having them patrolling in Iraq. I pondered that it seemed easier for our government, both Democrat and Republican, to approve war than to fix what's wrong at home... neither of us had an answer as to why. One thing we did agree on today was that there should definitely be better border control for ALL of our borders - not just the Mexican/American one.

On a side note - I read an article today that said one of the areas in Iraq was asking the US soldiers and the Iraqi soldiers for more help with the insurgents. It doesn't matter how much we give - everyone wants more and more from us - we can't win.


I believe that if we approve amnesty for those that are here illegally it must come at a price -- they should be fined. They broke the law. If I break the law by speeding I have to pay the ticket. If I break the law by stealing I have to go to jail. I should think being allowed to stay here and use government services, schools, hospitals, public assistance if needed, would be worth paying a fine. I know it would be for me if I had entered and lived in this country illegally.

Don't judge me by the color of my skin - you see me as "white" but under this white skin runs not only the blood of my white, European ancestors but the blood of my Cherokee and African American ancestors as well -- I embrace them all and am very thankful they all came here legally so I could be born an American and live the life I do.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Growing Older But Not Up!

Ever since I heard the Jimmy Buffett song, "Growing Older But Not Up" several years ago I decided it was my theme song... here are some words from the chorus:

I’m growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead

I try to follow his theme in my life but sometimes I get stuck in a rut... like now. With being thrust into the caregiver role for my mother it's hard to find time for me, or even for "us" with my husband. I feel like my life is on hold and it makes me angry because I don't get enough sleep and life has to go on anyway and then I feel guilty because my life will go on, but in a few months or so, my mother's will cease to go on. It's a vicious circle.

My old motto about not getting enough sleep, "Sleep is for the dead," seems shallow these days.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Here's to Growing Older but Not Up!

Welcome to my blog. My friend KA inspired me to start one as I have been reading his for a couple of months now and since I turned 49 a month ago (gasp) I've decided to do some of those things I have been saying I was going to do for years and years but never got around to doing... like, get a tattoo and start some serious writing!

Actually, I have been seriously writing for about 12 years. I've written several updated or twisted fairy tales for our theater troupe to perform free for kids and I have written a couple of interactive murder mysteries for our troupe to perform. I've written and adapted numerous plays for my youth drama classes as well. I've even dabbled in poetry. Now it's time for something different -- I'm not sure what but maybe through posting my daily (or almost daily) ramlings and musings I'll find out.

There's lots going on in my little life right now so lots of material to use. Stay tuned!

The Foxy One