Growing Older...

"It sucks getting old. I miss the days when I was between the ages of 18 and 49." -- Harriet Korn from Harry's Law

Some days I can relate to that statement - today is one of them, thanks to some neck pain. 

Thankfully, most days I don't feel all of my 55 years and my age falls somewhere between 14 and 40 depending on who I have been talking to and what I have been doing.  There are days when it feels like no time has passed since I was 14 or 15 and other days when I wonder where all the years went.

It's funny how talking with certain people or hearing certain songs can take you right back to a time and make you feel like it really wasn't that long ago. I seem to experience that more and more lately, wonder why that is? Getting Older? Wishful thinking? Denial? 

Getting Older - well, yes, duh. I've done a lot of living (and have lots more to do!) so I enjoy the sweet memories of those that I've met along the way that are still in my life, my wonderful marriage to the love of my life for 26 years (today) and those of my two fabulous kids growing up and learning to make their way in the world.

Wishful Thinking - that would imply regrets or wishing things were different. While there are some things, in hindsight, I wish I had done differently and I am sorry for, you can't go back. In the moment you can only do the best you know how to do. I firmly believe that I am the sum of my years, no matter how I got here.  

Every bad thing or good thing that happened to me, every bad choice or good choice I made, brought me to where I am today. Where I am today is a pretty great place and if I could do it all over again there are few things I would change. I would definitely try to be a better mother, a better wife and a better friend, but I did the best I could at the time. That's all any of us can really do, even if your best isn't what someone else considers "best". 

Denial - I do have friends who are in denial about getting older and looking older and they spend a lot of time and money staying in denial. And sure, there are some days that I don't like what I see in the mirror - but I like my older self much more than I ever liked my younger self, which is unfortunate because she was a pretty great gal and just never knew it.

I am not in denial about getting older - it happens to all of us, no matter how hard we fight it. I'm a grandma and I absolutely love it! But, I don't feel like a grandma (most days) and I hope I never do. I want be an active grandma for as long as I can which is why I drag myself, Pop-Pop and the pooch out the door everyday to run or walk or hike. 

So, I'm growing older but not up. I will keep doing the best I can. I will keep making memories. And while I can't press the reset button, I will keep trying to be a better mother, wife, friend and grandma. Because, no matter how hold we get, we have to keep trying. That is what keeps us young, it's what keeps us alive.

Getting it Right

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. --Oprah Winfrey

In creating a new blog for our travels, The Vagabond News I came across this blog that I have sporadically written in for more than a few years. Sadly, it has been sorely neglected since we hit the road. I blame it on Facebook:). It's much easier to throw up a sentence or two and a picture to let people know what you are up to. Don't get me wrong, Facebook is great and I am so happy for some of the people it has brought into my life - family, new friends, old friends, old boyfriends, school friends... I love that I am once again in touch with people I thought I might never hear from again - it's a good thing.

But writing is part of who I am, even my second grade teacher knew that and told my mother I should write. But I haven't been doing enough of it lately. Each year I say I am going to... write another play, put together the poetry I wrote long ago (first I would have to go through storage and find it!) or try my hand at short stories. And every year lack of organization, procrastination (he has been an unwelcome house guest far too long!) and laziness win out.

So here we are on January 1st and I sit having coffee, while bread is rising, thinking of what, if any, my resolutions will be. In looking for a quote to start this blog I came across one that seems to fit perfectly for me... another chance to get it right, Thank you Oprah!

So 2012 is another chance to get it right. Not that there are a lot of things that are wrong in my life - I'm a damn fortunate woman with a wonderful husband, family and friends that are so much like family you would think we were all related somehow! I am indeed fortunate and grateful for all that I have in my life and for the life John and I have made for ourselves.

But, there are always things that can be done better, things to "get right"... relationships, finances, business, health, being a better person, hobbies. Everyone has their own list. And, if I get this "writing thing" right this year, you'll probably see many that are on my list right here on this blog. Don't worry, it won't be all serious and down, but we all have those days, right? It will be a place to share the good, the bad and probably the ugly, all in an attempt to... Get it right!

So no lists for me this year. They rarely work anyway. Just a simple hope to work towards getting it right.

Happy New Year dear reader, I hope that your 2012 is off to a great start and I wish for you a year filled with love, health and prosperity. Mine is off to a great start because today I got it right and I wrote more than a sentence or two on Facebook! I also get to spend time with those that I love on a breezy but sunny Houston day!

Bring it 2012! Let's get it right!

A lot can happen in 8 months...

Wow - I've been meaning to blog, but things got a little hectic in February and have remained so until now.

If you know me, then you know we found a truck and and RV and hit the road in mid-May. The months of March, April and half of May are quite a blur! Somehow the two of us managed to get rid of, pack up and store a 2000 sq ft house full of memories, treasures and stuff. Letting go of the STUFF was very freeing - unfortunately there is still STUFF in storage, but that's for another blog post!

We managed to get everything that we kept either in the RV or in a 10x10 storage unit and hit the road. First stop was San Francisco to visit our son and daughter-in-law for a few days and then we headed north to Crescent City, CA. We were in a beautiful campground nestled in the redwood trees and it was nice being in a beautiful setting while we got used to our new home, John worked and I finished preparations for the Summer Camp Season. We loved it so much that we stayed put for almost 3 weeks.

In early June we headed back to southern California for camps and bounced around to campgrounds in Santa Paula, Simi Valley, Acton and Lancaster. We really love the county campground in Simi Valley and wish they didn't have a 2 week in, 1 week out rule! Camp season went well and in the middle of camp season we were blessed with the arrival of our first grandchild, Ethan! What fun! We flew to NC in July to visit our daughter, son-in-law and new grandson for a week - boy was it hard to come back and focus on camps!

But focus, I did, and before we knew it camps were over and it was time to say sad goodbyes to family and friends on the west coast and head east! We took a little over a week to get from one coast to the other, making stops in New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Tennessee.

We spent a week with the kids in North Carolina before heading to Sebastian, Florida for a short stay before leaving on a 7-night, 50th Anniversary Cruise for John's parents. We LOVED Pelican's Landing Resort in Sebastian and hope to go back again soon. It was cute, clean and on the Indian River with a great boat house to hang out in and watch the sunrise and the storms roll in and out!

A few days before the cruise we found out that our grandson had to have surgery while we would be on the cruise! Talk about not wanting to go! He craniosynostosis - his little skull had begun fusing together too early and he needed a craniectomy to correct it and allow his brain and skull to grow properly. We are so thankful that his pediatrician caught it early! He has to wear a cranial helmet until he turns 1 - a small price to pay! Mommy and Daddy convinced us to continue on the cruise - the surgery was at John Hopkins so it would have been a circus with all of us trying to be there. He came through the surgery with flying colors and although the helmet is uncomfortable at times he is doing great with it and is a healthy, happy little guy!

After the cruise we headed back to NC but enroute found out that John's mom had come down with H1N1 on the cruise! We were afraid to possibly take it back to the family in NC so we waited it out in South Carolina. We didn't get the flu but I managed to pick up the Norwalk Virus on the ship - not fun! We did take a side trip to Charleston one day and had a fabulous lunch at Poogan's Porch (the food is to die for - especially the biscuits!) and took a carriage ride so we still managed to get in some fun between working and being sick!

We finally made it back to NC and will be staying put until sometime in the Spring. We are having way too much fun being grandparents. It's nice to be in one place for awhile and not have to pack the RV for travel every week or two! But it will be fun to take a month or so to travel back to California and spend a week or so exploring different areas. It will be hard to leave North Carolina... but, I won't think about that right now!

I am getting lots of exercise and John and I are both losing some weight... slowly, but not depriving ourselves too much - trying to practice moderation!

More later on the fabulous cruise and some of the friends and family we have seen on our travels in a later blog.

Happy Trails!

Trucks and Trailers

We are in the process of finding a truck that will pull the RV that we don't have yet. - what the heck? Who knew it would be so hard to find the right truck and then, we still have to find the right RV!

I am, of course, more interested in the RV than the truck. I can feel my eyes glazing over when my poor husband starts talking about the V-10 engine, tow package, blah, blah. I don't even care what color it is... which is unusual because I always care about the car color - usually blue but sometimes red! So the dealer has found one that is pretty close to what we are looking for and it's some gold color - OK - fine - don't care if the price is right!

So I am trying to take a more active role in the purchase of the truck... trying.
What I really want is to get past the truck purchase and move on to the RV purchase. That really excites me!

Meanwhile - I have managed to get our clothes into one closet - the donation truck made out really well a few weeks ago and that was just round one. I've been going through other things for a yard sale. It's starting to feel very freeing to get rid of things... Although I think we are still going to need a huge storage unit:)

Happy Trails!

Diving into a new chapter!

On this historic day when our great country has sworn into office the very first African American President we are all full of hope. Hope for our country and for ourselves. As this country embarks down a new path, so do I...

My husband and I are have made the decision to become fulltime RV'ers! There! I've said it out loud!

It is a an interesting and scary leap to make. We are not minimalists - we like "stuff" and our house is filled with mementos and memories. Taking this leap and diving into this new lifestyle will also be a lesson in simplicity... and for that I am ready!

As I walk from room to room I see everything in a different light - what goes to storage and what goes to the yard sale/charity...what gets shipped to the kids and what makes its way into the RV?

Stay tuned... the new chapter begins February 2... room by room, box by box.. until we hit the road sometime this year with the dog and cat! I'm sure it will never be a dull moment!

Until next time...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life...

“There is a fallow time for the spirit when the soil is barren because of sheer exhaustion.” – Howard Thurman

I am exhausted.

I'm tired of the political rhetoric from both sides. This country will either flourish or fail under the upcoming leadership - for the sake of all of us I really do hope that it flourishes, but I can't help but have my doubts.

Some of my family and friends don't like what I write or don't understand what I write because they have quite different views. Frankly, my "right of center" views and beliefs embarrass them and some have even chosen to take it personally. That's OK - right now in this country we are all entitled to our own thoughts and opinions.

So - this blog will no longer be about things political... it will be about some of the things that 50+ women go through as they begin the second journey of their life. Some of the things many women are afraid to talk about: their feelings about spending the first half of their life caretaking and nurturing and trying to be whatever everyone else wanted/needed them to be, only to arrive at this point in their life pretty much used up, worn out and no longer needed; the guilt of not being the perfect mother or wife - no matter how hard they tried; and, hopefully, about what we can do to make the second half more meaningful for us, as well as those around us, but mainly for us.

The following excerpt from "The Second Journey" by Joan Anderson kind of sums up where I am at today.... not sure where I am going, but it should be an interesting journey... the first half sure was!

"Most of us, halfway to a hundred, confront a need for great self-awareness. We reach a point when the power of youth is gone, the possibility of failure first presents itself, and the dream of earlier times now seems shallow and pointless. And then we find ourselves asking the tough questions: What am I meant to do now? What really matters? Who am I?

For many years I had ignored these questions because I had too many responsibilities—too many other lives to consider. But all of a sudden, there were no more excuses. Old truths and ideals no longer served me. I was restless, unhappy, and full of an undefined ache, standing at a crossroad with no clear idea of what path to follow. I only knew that I needed a change. So I took a leap of faith, walked away from the mainstream of life and dove headlong into the unknown."

Rox

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!